Wednesday, December 08, 2004

the company christmas party is this weekend and besides the stress of WHAT THE CRAP AM I GOING TO WEAR, there's "the 12 days of christmas" to deal with. (when you read "the 12 days of christmas," please feel free to hear a large and ominous voice speaking while large and ominous music plays in the background.) apparently, we are all required to participate in the debacle that is "the 12 days of christmas."

see, you're told this little fiesta is FREE, but nooooooo. really, there is a price.

your dignity.

which is a pretty small price to pay considering there's free food and fun dancing at this shindig. that and the fact that my job takes away my dignity daily as i, a college graduate, work on the factory floor, which means that i am daily looked down upon by the many non-college graduate office workers. like having a computer makes them sooooo cool or something. please. i've got snips. do THEY have snips? i don't think so!

but i digress...

so everyone who is going to this little soiree (thank you dictionary.com for that spelling) is put into a group and then this group is assigned a "day" of christmas. the group must then think of a creative way of singing their day and whatever numbered gift they have. you're allowed to change the words, use props, interpretively move, whatever. for you obu grads out there, think of it as a low-budget tiger tunes. fortunately for me, i'm in the day 12 group, so that means i only have to act like a moron once.

so my team met today. and my team lives in the sahara desert of creativity. the "best" idea for a while there was for us all to walk around in a circle and say "drum. drum. drum." i'm not kidding. i couldn't even make up something that dumb. at first i thought our leader was kidding, but she wasn't. she seriously thought it'd be "funny." and if you define "funny" as "completely and totally idiotic," then i suppose that idea would have been "funny." thank GOD someone threw out the idea of string clipping and thank GOD we went with that. so we are officially "12 string clippers snipping."

so on saturday night in hara arena, gathered together before God and all of our co-workers and their guests, we're gonna run out and sing/say "12 string clippers snipping!" and then throw string everywhere and run back. pretty lame-o, i know, but did you read the part about circling and chanting "drum?" the best part about all of this is two-fold. 1) we get to THROW string as part of our act and 2) our team leader kept saying "12 string clippers stripping" on accident.

after that fanstastically important meeting (the first meeting i've ever been a part of since working at the factory, by the way), i went back to my humble station out on the factory floor. and of course, madames g and c wanted to know what my team was doing. and, of course, they were sorely disappointed in our lack of creativity. and, of course, they huffed and guffawed over our stupid idea. i just shrugged my shoulders. and then brushed them off. after all, i had just gotten out of work for 15 minutes.

later, madame c got to thinking and she told me this. "well, just be glad you're not the guy wearing a cow suit. that's really the best way to think of it lillian, 'at least i don't have to wear titties.'"

quite possibly the best advice i've gotten in an extremely long time.