Thursday, November 04, 2004

work was hard today. both personally and professionally. we're way behind and pushing to get stuff done and it's really stressful.

but that's not important.

what was REALLY difficult today was watching madame g try to survive the day. see, today was the 1st anniversary of losing her daughter to cancer. i simply cannot imagine what it is like to give birth to a child, rear them, love them with all your being, and then watch them die. it must be awful.

i have a lot of respect and admiration for madame g. her life has been extremely difficult. she grew up in a big family and was sort of lost in the crowd. she went on to get married and give birth to nine (9!!!!!!) children. (and 7 of those 9 were girls. OH MY GOD, can you imagine having six sisters!? or if you're a boy, can you imagine having 7 sisters??? that house must have been a hormonal HELL.) her husband then left her and she faced the task of of raising those 7 girls and 2 boys by herself. she has since seen one son and one daughter die. it's amazing this woman can get up every morning and laugh.

she spent most of the day distracting herself with work and laughter. her children met up for lunch and she couldn't join them. thankfully, one of her daughters came by with flowers and a card signed by all the kids. it was wonderful to see how much that meant to her.

when i see madame g with her children and grandchildren and how much joy they bring her, it makes me think that maybe i want to have a family too. which is a scary thought. (because, let's face it, do we really WANT to dip into this gene pool?)

but i think growing old and being very lonely is much, much scarier than a baby or two.