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Thursday, October 07, 2004

ah, the joy a random post brings to me.

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i've got a theory. well, i've got three. they're kind of an either/or thing. you'll see what i mean when you read them. here they are.

1) nobody from dayton reads this blog.
2) nobody from dayton cares if i go to church.
3) everybody from dayton that reads this blog goes to apex.

therefore, i do not feel unloved or stupid for receiving ZERO comments when i asked what churches i should visit.

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i have a few notes from work i'd like to share.

1) quote of the day (overheard in the bathroom)
"somedays, i just want to run screaming from this place."
truer words have never been spoken.

2) the suspender guy has nicknamed me "trouble." ok, maybe THAT deserves the title, "truer words have never been spoken."

3) the other day, i go to the bathroom. (you have NO IDEA how much joy i take in beginning a story with that sentence.) so, i went to the bathroom, or as my mother likes to say, "i had to make a stop." so here i am, making said stop when i hear the unmistakable sound of numbers being dialed on a cell phone. coming from the next stall over. and this is one of my biggest pet peeves, people. why, oh why would you EVER call someone while you're making a stop??? apparently, this woman could care less.

but the problem is, i'm sorta in the middle of this stop and there's no going back. you feeling me on this one? i mean, i'm completely and fully committed to making this stop all it can be. AND THIS WOMAN IS CALLING SOMEONE ON THE PHONE. and i'm thinking that if it's quiet enough to hear the dialing of the numbers, then it's quiet enough to hear every little nuance of my stop. but like i said, I CAN'T STOP. fortunately, my entire problem was solved in a few seconds, BECAUSE SHE STARTS TALKING ON THE PHONE WHILE STILL IN THE STALL. so you can't hear me and my stop b/c she's speaking vietnamese REALLY FREAKING LOUDLY. in the stall. IN THE STALL. she continues talking as she flushes the toilet and goes to wash her hands.

i eventually end my stop and humbly exit my stall. apparently, during stall talker's converstaion, another lady came into the bathroom. and as i walk toward the sink, ANOTHER VIETNAMESE CONVERSATION BEGINS. ON A PHONE. IN A STALL. so while i'm washing my hands, i hear not one, but TWO vietnamese conversations on cell phones in the bathroom. one in the stall, and the other post-stall.

what kind of world do we live in?

4) the bane of my existence is the song "goodies" by ciara featuring petey pablo. words cannot express to you the hatred i feel for that song. we are talking pure contempt here. no part of that song is catchy or good or musical or satisfying. and they play it all the time on 94.5. which is the only station you can get on the factory floor.

"but lil, you have your iPod now, you don't have to listen to the radio!"

that's rite. i don't personally listen to the radio. BUT EVERYONE ELSE DOES. WITHOUT HEADPHONES. and so i hear the muffled strains of "goodies" all freaking day long. and all i want to do is make it stop. (ok, i lied. "dip it low" by christina milian is the co-bane of my existence. it's JUST AS BAD, okay?)

5) i'd like to give a shout out to my fellow inspector who gave me a new needle on my tag gun. if not, i'd probably have about three hundred diseases from sticking myself with it EVERY SINGLE DAY. i hope the firemen don't mind a little blood on their suits. because every one that's signed "LM" has the possibility of having a little piece of the iceegirl with it. oops.

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