Saturday, September 18, 2004

i went to the zoo today. AGAIN. this time, it was the cincinnati zoo. sadly, there was no baby rhino to be seen, but the dinos and the NEW manatee, rodeo were really freaking cool. plus, the coolest guy in the world, sean, came with us. we then ate tasty mongolian barbecue at this cute little authentic restaurant and then spent hours with book and tea goodness at a FREAKING HUGE barnes and noble. so it turned out to be an excellent day. while singing to no doubt on the way home, i realized how thankful i was for another good day. it gives me hope. and i'm so desperate for hope.

and, of course, pictures will be posted soon.


wondering what's going on with me and the depression? good, cause i'm gonna tell you.

i went to the doctor on wednesday and he switched my medication. i've been on paxil for the last four years and it just seemed like it wasn't working anymore. so he recommended lexapro. today is day three on it and IT SUCKS. my brain is seriously missing the addictive paxil and i feel like i'm going crazy. i've got the "paxil withdrawal" headache and i'm extremely irritable. don't get me wrong, i'm excited about not being addicted anymore, but this just sucks SO MUCH. and if i start reliving scenes from "trainspotting" a la dooce, then i'm gonna ask God for a refund on this life.

but i suppose it's worth if it the chemicals in my brain will FINALLY BALANCE THEMSELVES OUT. and lexapro isn't supposed to make you gain weight. so we'll see.

i've also decided that i need to leave ohio. i'll definitely be here for the next 10 months because i signed a lease on my apartment, but i just don't think this is where i need/want/should be. and that breaks my heart, because i have no idea what i'm going to do without jimmy and robin, but this can't be all there is. i don't know, but i just can't help but look around my life and think, "this is WRONG." now if only i can figure out WHERE to go and WHAT to do. any suggestions?