Tuesday, August 17, 2004

thanks to everyone for all the sympathies about nutmeg. i miss that little kitty. i broke down and cried in meijer last nite. it wasn't pretty. but i managed to make today tear-free, despite the gaping hole in my heart.

wow, i'm really tired of being so down and out. so i'm going to move on to more shallow things.

i'm sure it's a mystery to you as to how i've been blogging if i'm off running around at the fair. please allow me to clear things up by giving you a blow by blow recount beginning friday, august 6th.

i arrive here friday morning to move in my stuff and begin my life as a carnie. it starts out really well; my boss is nice, i have a surprisingly sweet little pad (a TINY room in a fifth wheel trailer and when i say tiny, i mean people have closets bigger than this room. but hey, at least i don't have to share it) and an easy job. i only serve a total of two (2) customers between 11 am and 6 pm. so i, of course, think that working 12 hours a day like this will be a tad bit boring, but worth the money. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

saturday morning, i am informed that since i was SO GOOD in the "small fry" trailer, that i am being upgraded to the "big fry" trailer. i then proceed to work REALLY FREAKING HARD for 12 hours. i had no idea, i mean NO IDEA, that the people of champaign county would be so serious about their fries. they are ketchup drowning, vinegar spraying, hot tater eatin' FREAKS. on the bright side, i enjoy the company in this trailer more than in the "small fry." they're all funny and nice and hard workers.

sunday, jimmy comes to visit me and brings parsnip along. it is at this point that i begin to seriously consider quitting. i figure that since i am just missing THE DOG so much that i want to go home, that it is a bad sign. but we talk about it (jimmy and i talked, not me and parsnip) and decide i should wait it out two weeks and then decide.

monday, it is FINALLY slow during the day, but the rush that nite gives me nightmares. case in point: i dream that ben and i are dating and he has to play poker with a demon in order to rescue me from a terrible fate. he loses.

tuesday is terrible. the fryer is being grumpy because water and grease just don't mix. attitudes are on edge and my feet are hurting really badly. i realize i am desperately homesick and the pay isn't worth all the hours. i send several pathetic text messages to jimmy and decide to quit. that nite, i nervously sit down with the owner to talk and tell her my problem. bless her heart, she asks me to stay the rest of the week, but frees me to leave friday nite with her blessing.

wednesday is my birthday. it has its highs and lows.

high: jimmy comes to visit with cards and a gift from my wonderful maw maw.
low: jimmy can't stay for very long.

high: stacy keeps doing extra work for me since it is my birthday. she even calls one customer a "dumbass" for being extremely rude to me.
low: vinegar is sprayed in my hair, on my arm, and in my face.

high: many people call to wish me a happy birthday, including not one, but TWO "happy birthday" musical messages from my parents.
low: required weekly fight with the ex.
low: immediately after fight, shelby (a 10 year old girl) informs me that i'm growing a goatee and need to shave immediately. i haven't packed any razors and proceed to be REALLY self-conscious about aforementioned chin hair.

high: ex and i make up and he comes up for a little birthday/steak n shake fun.
low: i get off early, but i can't actually leave because of a surprise work meeting.

high: meeting turns out to be a surprise birthday celebration for me, complete with chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream.
low: well, there's not a low associated with that one.

thursday is a blur. i do remember dreaming that matt floyd was thisclose to getting engaged to a girl named kelli. oddly enough, that's all i can remember about thursday. although i'm pretty sure i also dream that the fairgrounds are being overun by demons.

friday is hell in a tiny fry trailer. we are the busiest yet that week and i haven't seen lines that long since my movie theater days. i manage to rotate myself to the back of the trailer, away from the action for a bit. but this is only a small reprieve and soon i'm back in the middle of it all. then i find out that i'm not getting off at 10:30, as was implied, but must stay until after the demolition derby is over in order to close down the trailer and prepare it to travel to troy. i cry. jimmy arrives and offers encouraging words as i struggle to continue working.

i FINALLY am released after midnite and arrive safely back in dayton. my life as a carnie is over...for now.

what am i up to now? well, i'm glad you asked.

i am now employed at morning pride factory. i inspect fireman's uniforms for 10 hours a day. sound icky? nope, it really isn't too bad. i get paid well, have good benefits and there isn't a fry trailer in sight. plus, i get to sit down all day and have my own pair of snippers.

so ben, i was going to offer to shovel some fries for you the next time you wanted to go out. but that seemed inappropriate now, so instead, i am offering to inspect any of your garments for free.** snip, snip baby.

**note: i have been informed that this joke sounded sexual in nature. that is not at all the case! it was meant to show my extreme level of loser-ishness and that's it. no sex allowed, k?