Sunday, May 23, 2004

i would be remiss to not post a little something during my time in boston. i've got the connection, so i have no excuse. :0)

so far, it has been wonderful. i am really enjoying the city and greatly enjoying the company of ben and lana. it has been good to catch up. we have been through a lot these past two years, i feel like i've missed so much of their lives and i am sure they feel the same about me. unfortunately, all of these happenings have made us a sadder little trio. we are also missing one from our OBU days. joel f. would complete our little quartet of goobers who would trek out doing silly things and having loads of fun. of course there were other friends involved, but the four of us spent a lot of time together for a while there. and i can't help but wonder (since he isn't here); is he sadder too? he's married and in med school, so i hope not. the cynic in me is convinced that he is sadder. the idealist in me hopes that he is not. i may never know.

as i've spent time here, i now truly understand that we can NEVER return to our blissful OBU days. i also know that there is a good chance life will actually get more difficult for us. and so i can't help but wondering, will we ever be as happy, or at least as ignorant, as we once were? probably not. but i've also realized that i have friends who understand loss and heartache. we have all made stupid mistakes and have had stupid things happen to us. but we're still trudging along, slow as it may seem. i'm sure with each other's help, we'll make it. of course, i'm not sure where we are trying to go, but i'm confident that wherever it is, we'll go together. if not physically, then emotionally and spiritually. i know this because this trip to boston was exactly what i needed to give me the motivation to continue on this journey of life. for a while, i was beginning to wonder if there really was a reason to keep going. and now i know, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and a few bright spots along the way there. i had to realize this in order to continue my trudge through the darkness.