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Saturday, May 15, 2004

and the day 'o posting continues.

i wrote all of this out yesterday and the silly computer decided that it'd be better to eat my post rather than publish it. that's so sad. but you know what else is sad? the smashed monitor of that computer.

so i'll spare you the gory details, but i have to share about my tongue ring adventures. first of all, i hate calling it "tongue jewelry" and "tongue barbell" just sounds WRONG. it's not a ring, and yet "tongue ring" is my phrase of choice. so yes, i recognize it's not a ring per se, but it's my blog and my tongue, so i'll call it whatever i darn well please, by golly. but i digress.

so i'm at chili's for the extra mile and i'm thoroughly enjoying the company and the food. i had decided to conlude the meal with their tasty chocolate chip paradise pie. and let me tell you, that stuff is GOOOOOOD. so i'm chomping down heartily, enjoying the chocolate and the chip and the paradise and the pie, when it happens. i bite down so hard on the top ball of the ring that i'm pretty positive i have just lost a tooth for the sake of looks. i quickly assess the damage, and whew, it's still there. so i continue chomping as if nothing is wrong. silly lil. what was i thinking? i might not have broken off a tooth, but i sure did break off the top ball! that bad boy came unscrewed and went rite on down the esophagus. so after this extra hearty bite, i realize that there's something amiss in my mouth. my immediate thought was, "oh sweet mother of pearl. do NOT swallow the bar! drool all over everything lillian, just do not swallow that bar!" so i start doing weird tongue/hand choreography in order to keep that bar in my tongue and away from my esophagus. i look at jimmy with panic in my eyes and he doesn't get it. he just thinks i suddenly feel the need to touch my tongue. i finally mouth enough syllabus to get my point across and the craziness begins.

i run to the bathroom and back frantically, all the while trying to talk with my tongue sticking out of my mouth. jimmy WALKS (yes, you read that rite, two days before he should have, he walks FOR ME) to the van, carrying his walker. he then proceeds to DRIVE like a crazy man looking for a piercing/tattoo place that is open at 10:30 pm. too bad that NONE of them are! we go all over fairborn and huber heights, searching for an elusive tongue ring. we try calling random people who might know where to go and NO ONE is answering their phone. so i'm in the van with my tongue sticking out, holding the post in, and praying that i don't die from dehydration of the tongue or drool on the chin or driving of the jimmy.

and then, we find it. cue the angelic chorus. the piercing place is still open. hallelujah! salvation! jimmy parks, i run, tounge ring bought, post in tongue, all is well. whew, what a nite.

so today's body piercing lesson is: tighten your tongue ring or you'll eat it for dessert!

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