Wednesday, March 03, 2004

IM'ing while you're sick can be fun. here's a story ian wrote to entertain me. he needed a prompt, so i told him to tell me a story about either a clown, leprachaun, or midget. being the overacheiver that he is, he managed to incorporate all three. enjoy!

Once upon a time there was a clown named Clowny the Clown. Clowny was a good clown, but everybody hated him because he was a midget. Most people in the general public don't know, but there is a very harsh caste system among circus folks, and midget clowns are in the bottom caste. While it's easy for midget clowns to find work--people love to gawk at midget clowns doing stupid tricks--it is hard for them to find friends.
One day, though, God smiled on Clowny and sent a beautiful leprachaun named Teresa into his life. Teresa had been living in the lush hills and forests of Northern Scotland until she was captured by a group of traveling Circus Lackeys who captured her and sold her to the circus group that Clowny worked for.
The minute Clowny saw Teresa he fell in love with her. And even though he didn't know it--for Leprechauns are very crafty and secretive creatures--Teresa was very interested in him too. One day while Clowny was on his break he was sitting on a wooden barrel eating a hotdog when he heard Teresa scream. Running around the corner to the location of the scream, he found two of the Elephant handlers hassling her.
Clowny was infuriated and grabbed the nearest weapon he could find: a group of juggling pins. He chucked the first two at the handlers' heads and hit them right in their bald spots. They stumbled for a second, then turned around, and boy were they mad. Clowny hurled another two pins at the nefarious bandits, knocking one to the ground but completely missing the second.
The second handler started moving towards Clowny. At this point fellow circus freaks have started to gather 'round to watch Clowny get beat. But Clowny wasn't going to give up that easily. Dropping the juggling pins and picking up two nearby juggling swords, Clowny tosses one of the swords to the handler, who is twice his size, and then procedes to grin with eager anticipation. Overconfident, the handler, Chuck, picks up the sword and rushes at Clowny.
Faster and more agile than his oafish opponent, Clowny dodges the lunge and slashes at Chuck's belt. His belt cut in two, Chuck's pants fall around his ankels (revealing his TeleTubbies boxer shorts) and he falls to the ground. Embarrased and defeated, Chuck starts to run away. As he runs Clowny lets out a victorious laugh and when Chuck turns around to watch he runs straight into a light post, knocking himself unconscious.
The fight is not over, though, as Bobby has managed to stand up and is again threatening Teresa. Clowny walks confidently up to Bobby and taps him on the back. As Bobby turns around Clowny smacks him across the face with a two-by-four, knocking him out cold. Overjoyed, Teresa runs to Clowny and hugs him as tight as she can.
Clowny and Teresa then flee the circus and purchase a used Sentra from a used car lot. They drive off into the Sunset, planning on a 15 week tour of the Midwest, finally ending up in the most gorgeous landscape in Nebraska where, on a beautiful summer day they have a simple wedding ceremony and begin the rest of their lives together.
The end.

wasn't that just the best? three cheers to ian!