Friday, February 06, 2004

hoover commented on my blog, i feel so special. :0)
so i spent today in my house. i haven't left it at all. this is ok, b/c it's nasty outside, but i'm saddenned to report that i'm a mentally ill missionary. :0( when this happened, i have no idea, but i am seriously depressed. i look at my life and all i can think is "ew." i don't like it. in fact, there are very few aspects of my life that i would even consider slightly positive rite now. that's so frustrating b/c i feel like my life shouldn't suck. i'm a missionary after all, life doesn't suck for missionaries. but alas, mine does. and as the strains of kelly clarksons "low" float through my mind, i think, why does my life suck? what about it makes me so unhappy? and i have no answers. i am just generally unimpressed with my life. so now i have decided that i need a change. maybe i should learn a new skill or work out more or sleep at nite. something, anything, to break this routine of monotonous blah. i feel like i should get out there and do something, but i feel hindered, like i can't. as if there's some invisible force pulling me back. i suppose it's the ghosts of my past haunting me. either that or the nasty cherry coke i drank last nite is teaching me to think twice before i just greedily grab a beverage from the auclairs' basement. quarter life crisis? or just a case of indigestion? you decide.